The Joys Of Life!

ugh, my child, i swear! guess what he learned yesterday..... how to climb out of his crib.... what did he do the third time he did it, you say? fell on the butt that is still healing from a diaper rash!!!................

what other unique quality did he learn this week? how to pinch! rrrr!

what is his favorite pass time today? banging his head on things.

can i get him to stop? no!

do i think its funny or safe? no!

does he? yes!

did i let him go crazy with the jello on sunday? yes!

did i think it'd be a fun outlet for us? yes!

did mommy eat it crazy, too? yes!

did it dye brayden's skin a reddish/orange rainbow color on his stomach, lips and cheeks? yes!

is the color still there? yes!

did it dye mommy's skin? no, of course it would only happen to brayden. ugh!

did brayden put his favorite hot wheels car in his poop during a diaper change? yes!

did it have to be his FAVORITE hot wheels car? yes!

could mommy throw it away with out tears and tantrums? no!

could she find a identical car for a replacement? no!

did she put it in the dishwasher a few times and still thinks it isn't clean enough? yes!

is brayden pooping a lot lately? yes

does it make his but red? yes!

do lots of poop+sensitive skin=rash give her a headache? yes!

could the doctor see him today for his bootie rash? no! double rrrrr!

is mommy sick of his poor butt looking that way? yes!

does it make mommy feel sad? yes!

does she want to cry? yes!

does she want a day of peace? yes!

does she want to quit her job and just sit in silence on tuesdays and thursdays and paint her toes? yes!

will she get utterly bored and miss my patients that are always rude? probably!

would she miss wendy and jessica if she left? most definitely!

would it be worth leaving? ugh, no...

does she get to go home for christmas? no!

does she think her boss should let everyone off that week, and give them a huge bonus for all their hard work through out the year, plus paid vacation for jess and wendy? yes!

would he ever do that? no!

is he cheap? yes!

what do we call his wife? anna!

whats her real name? heidi!

is it rude to call someone by the wrong name? .....if only you knew

do i feel guilty now? yes!

do i over analyze things? yes!

when was the last time i cried? two days ago, poor jennifer hudson ;(

does the whole story make me want to hold brayden all day? yes!

what is annoying me right now? vote yes/no for prop 8! and i'm not even a californian.

who deserves a 1000 hugs? my lovey christie!

who deserves a 1000 kisses? ruthie pie!... and i know just the guy to give 'em too! his name is edward.

who deserves a 1000 dollars? megan, that way she can visit me.
(me, selfish?-no)

who deserves a 1000 date nights? shannon, and i'm fully prepared to offer my baby-sitting services.

who deserves a 1000 massages? krystal, she has to watch brayden for 2 full days!

who deserves a 1000 prayers? everyone! especially jennifer hudson.

who deserves a 1000 free eye exams? children in africa.

who deserves a 1000 minutes of sleep? ME!

should i dye my hair brown? i think i might.

should i stop obsessing over the twilight movie/books? NEVER!

do i want troy to pick up some traits from edward? hmmmm....edward....

is edward a fictional character from twilight? unfortunately yes. he is.

do i wish i could put my cold feet on troy at night so he can warm them up? if only i were so lucky.

how long has troy been gone? 53 days. 53 long days.

do we miss him? extremely so.

does he miss us? well i'll quote a text he wrote: i love you more than the earth needs the sun.

did i save it permanently to my phone? yes.

do i read it constantly? yes. hehe i know i'm a loser.

did troy almost get his arm cut off last week? yes!!! ugh!!! scary!!

how did he do that? a stupid roll up door fell with his arm inside.

does he have a bruise? many of them, from his hand to his elbow.

who's fault was it? well i don't think its polite to say names.... troy.

am i sick of watching 'lilo and stitch' every night? actually, not really... its fun to watch brayden so into it. repeatedly..... or i just tell myself that.

how did i get brayden to stop biting? i sniffed him like a dog each time he wanted to.

does he think its funny? yes.

would he rather sniff someone than bite them? i proudly say YES!

why? because he thinks its hilarious.

do i think its weird? well, have a kid that bites vs. sniffs -then you can pick your battle.

has other bad habits been that easy to replace? no!

does he like to be naughty on purpose? yes!

does he get pleasure from it and smiles when he's in trouble? of course, he's a mini troy.

do i want twins? yes.

am i insane? obviously!

who would ever want two at once? me, duh.

why? because i'm stupid and like punishment apparently.

is this whole blog entry retarded? probably.

do my readers think i've lost my mind? yes. but most our moms, they'll understand.

do i think cars should run on water? yes.

why haven't they invented that yet? because they're dumb.

do i think our cars should be like the jetson's flying cars? yes.

do i think they should go 100 miles a minute? mmm hmmm.

why? because i'm all about saving time, not wasting it.

what am i willing to waste time over? kissing.

why? because i like it and it burns calories.

does it burn calories enough to even count? not really.

so why even mention it? because its a fact.

am i tired? yes, now would be a good time for me to shut up.

is it late? yes.

will i be able to sleep well, while thinking about brayden being capable of climbing out of his crib? NOOOOOOOO!

frustration just settled in. ew.